So sad

I drove to the hospital today to visit my cousin. She was sleeping when I got there but opened her eyes after about 5 minutes had passed. She was in a lot of pain and I think the meds made her too drowsy to talk. I held her hand for a while as she went in and out of sleep, and then I told her I was going to leave so she could try to get some decent rest. I think she was feeling like she had to talk to me, and I would have stayed except I was worried about the distress it might be causing her. I really feel bad for her, and I don’t do very well in these kinds of situations, but I’ll check to see how she is in a couple of days and then go back to see her again.

I feel like I need to get back to my painting, but the reason I’ve put it on hold is that Home Depot is out of the TSP I use. I don’t want anything I have to rinse, and I don’t want the ready-to-use formula because that would be too expensive. Just want the kind you mix 1 part to 7 parts water. So tomorrow morning I’ll go back to HD to see if they have it on the shelves again, and if not I’ll travel over to Lowes which isn’t too far away.

My youngest (Joe) stopped by with his youngest daughter, Keira, this morning. He doesn’t have school today so he took Alyssa to her pre-school and he said Keira didn’t want to go go home – she wanted to go to “Dah-ma’s” house. All the granddaughters are so cute – first thing when they get here they go to the coloring books & crayons. Then they visit the snack cabinet in the kitchen, and Joe’s daughters always want to look at the knick-knacks in my bedroom. I have a gorgeous ceramic dragon I used to keep on my kitchen windowsill in Asheville, a little ceramic fairy, a ceramic mermaid, lots of pretty tumbled stones and quartz, and they are all fascinated.

It was nice to have a chance to visit with Joe and hear about his classes. He’s in a Respiratory Tech program and loves it. He will be extremely good when he gets into hospital work. He and my d-i-l lost twins, one stillborn and one who lived for 7 months but never got to breathe on his own until the last 30 minutes of his life when they disconnected all the tubes, etc. Joe will certainly be able to empathize with parents in a similar situation and will do his best for the babies and children. I’m assuming he wants to eventually work with that age group, although maybe he will feel differently when he’s been given other options to explore.

I don’t know where the days go, but they are speeding up and I feel like a spinning ice skater – you know how they bring their arms in close and spin so fast. I’m grateful for every day though.

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7 Responses to So sad

  1. Jeannie says:

    I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin…I liked your analogy of how fast the days go by! Seems like when you are retired, they go faster than when you were working and had no time to do stuff other than work!

  2. Sherry says:

    So sad is right. Sad about your friend. I just wonder if the cure is worse than the disease. We do hold on so tight to life.And sad about the twins. What a terrible experience for any parent.My thoughts go out to both of these people in your life.

  3. I have never been in a situation like you described with a sick & dying person but I feel I would be like you & not handle it well……

  4. You are in a difficult situation with your cousin. Being loving and supportive as she struggles is no easy task. 😦

  5. Dizzy-Dick says:

    As said by all of the above, so sad!! Brought tears to my eyes.

  6. Vera says:

    I hope your cousin feels a little better next time you see her. I really can sympathize with you. I also hope you can get on with your painting so you can rest for awhile and just enjoy your new home.

  7. Carolyn says:

    Sad to read this about your cousin… so hard to see people suffer.And your grand daughter! haaaa … dah-ma… oh, joy.. mine will be here Monday… 😉

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